Building language in natural conversations

If you have noticed that your child isn't speaking with as many words as other children of the same age, you might be looking for ways to help them build their language skills.  You might look at google or visit the pediatrician and get some great advice like "name objects for your child."  Don't doubt it, that's good advice.  Kids need to learn the names for things, but here's the catch.  You can't start walking around naming things that your child's attention wasn't drawn to in the first place.  It won't help and you will make yourself nuts trying to do that all day.  So let's talk about how to naturally work on language skills during the day.  It's easy.  Just follow your child's lead.

Instead of thinking up ways to create a scenario that will get them talking, use the opportunities that are already presenting themselves.  For instance, you take your child to the bathroom to wash their hands after a splendid dinner of spaghettio's where more spaghetti is on your kid than in your kid.  You turn the water on and your child sticks their hand in the water and says, "hot!"  Now's your chance!  This is an opportunity to expand their language by modeling the word they already know and using it in a sentence for them.  So you might say, "Yes, the water is hot.  Too hot.  Ouch!" Then you can adjust the water temperature and say "Is it hot?"  Let your child test the water.  They might say "No" and you can test the water too and expand their language by saying "No, it's not hot."  As you wash hands, you can repeat the phrase "it's not hot, not hot, not hot" or some variation of that to the tune of your favorite song.  I know that part sounds ridiculous, but really, you will be surprised when they start singing the song to you next time you wash their hands.  Kids remember stuff like that you know?  When your child says a word, just add to it.  At the store and your child sees an apple and says "apple?"  You say, "A red apple.  Apples are yummy.  Do you want an apple?" The lesson here is to use what you are doing and what your child is already saying to build on their skills.  

Besides expanding language by adding to what they have said, you can also model for your child during playtime with parallel talk.  This is when you simply say what you are doing as you are doing it. Putting socks and shoes on your toddler?  Talk about it.  As you are putting the socks on you might say in a long drawn out voice, "Oooooonnnne sock, twooooooooo socks.  Oooooonnnne shoe, twos shoes."  Now you have demonstrated for your child counting skills and plural nouns (sock/socks, shoe/shoes).  You have also tied the vocabulary words (socks, shoes) to the activity it matches (getting dressed).  Having a tea party with the dolls?  Instead of just passing out the dinnerware, talk it out as you set the table.  "You get a plate, and you get a plate, and you get a plate.  Now you get a fork, and you get a fork, and you get a fork.  And you get a cup, and you get a cup, and you get a cup."  Get the idea?  You are modeling the vocabulary (forks, plates, cups) in sentences (You get a cup.) during a natural activity when those words will be used over and over again in life.  Then next time you play tea party, prompt your child by starting to pass out things (you get a cup, etc) and see if they will say it with you this time. As your child gets the hang of it and can do it with you, see if she can then do it by herself.  

The lesson here is to use what you have.  You aren't a school teacher and you don't have to sit up at night planning lessons on building language.  You also shouldn't stress or feel guilty about not setting aside 20 minutes each night to think up and teach a new SAT word.  You are a loving parent who is busy building a life with your family.  It's busy and crazy and messy.  No one needs to add extra work to that.  Use what you are already doing as a springboard for life lessons in language at the grocery store, the zoo, McDonalds, or the minivan.  The nice thing about language is that it happens everywhere all the time and it's free.  

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